We Washed the Cat

By David De Jong

We washed the family cat today
Pretty sure it’s become a stray
Followed directions as presented
The bathroom walls now are vented

He didn’t much care for the whirring sound
While the flushes took him round and round
We added soap, the prescribed amount
After a few spin flushes, we lost count

He blew bubbles at both ends as he made his escape
I swear the way he flew, he was wearing a cape
As he clawed his way through the bathroom wall
Thought it might be prudent give 9-1-1 a call

They laughed and made my situation a joke
They sneered and called me one ignorant bloke
As they pointed to the directions hung by a pin
Make sure you always keep the bathroom door wide-open

Last we heard, some folks down the road seen a cat in a huff
Looked like a crazy, enormous, four-leg’ed, powder puff
The family dog on the other hand, enjoyed the show so much
Everyday he brings me a different cat, covered in mud and such

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